earlier this semester, there was two weeks where i had panic attacks almost daily, couldn’t sleep and just felt my heart was ready to burst out of my chest. I was so stressed about leaving college, what my future was, and if i was actually capable of reaching the goals i had set for myself. I didn’t tell a lot of people, only a few, because I knew everyone was stressed and i thought that this was a problem only i could solve. As a result of the stress i was under, some of my hair fell out and i was so embarrassed. I started freaking out and bought a bunch of “magic serums” so my hair would grow back but they didn’t work. I kept my hair down, and if i had to tie my hair i would put black makeup in that spot so it was harder to see the different. But this was all superficial remedies. It took my a while but finally I realized that the real problem was the fact that i try and forget i have an anxiety disorder and this is something that will follow me throughout my life. I also have built myself to be someone who is really independent and strong - which I’m really proud of! But sometimes i forget that just because i am independent and strong that doesn’t mean i can’t ask for help.
So this is me, with no makeup to hide a scar of my chronic anxiety, but no longer embarrassed of it and ready to start addressing the problem internally rather than superficially.
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